Paranormal Believer Gifts

'It makes no difference what I say. You've already decided I'm guilty.' 'Gasp! The witch can read minds!'

'I have this strange feeling I'm going to discover something about psychic abilities. . . next week.'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

"Why bother?"

Ghost School.

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

New Road Signs to Watch For:

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

Astral Projection

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

"You're solemates!"

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

"Get a tomb!"

He snuck in on me again, didn't he.

Ghost puddle

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

What can I get you? An explanation for why we haven't gone back to the moon. Would you like the rational explanation or the Youtube explanation? Rational would be lovely, please. Ok. We never went back to the moon because there was no reason to. The whole point of Apollo was to reassure the free world that we could beat the Soviet Union. Mission accomplished. Oh ... that's it? Well, that's rather bland. Could I exchange that for the Youtube explanation? The lizard-men who live on the film set wh

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

'You can fill your teddy bear with stuffing or with a demonic spirit summoned from the nether regions.'

"Which one is yours?"

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

"I can't really tell you the future but I'll tell you what's trending on Twitter."

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

'Perhaps the surest evidence intelligent life exists out there is the fact it hasn't revealed itself to us thus far.'

Polterguest: "When is your brother going to leave? He's driving me crazy!"

"Your husband says BOO!"

"Washing your car will cause it to rain – science or superstition? We investigate on the next 'Cause and Effect.'"