Paranormal Followers Gifts

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

Ghost School.

"Cthulhus, sir. Thousands of 'em."

"It's not the paranormal activity that bothers me so much as the passive aggression."

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

Telekinetics on strike...

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

"I find it disturbing when you breathe through your nose."

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

"I'm not really into organized religion, though I am very spiritual."

Haunted museum

"Oh, don't mind us. We boo everybody."

"Congratulations! You unlocked the devil in your coffee. Microwave a seventh time and you'll meet L. Ron Hubbard."

If Ghosts Were Real

The response of a spirit during a seance is in fact an annoyed neighbour.

"Joe, is that you? Can you really hear me? What's the password for the email?"

'Oh, no! The poltergeist has taken up juggling.'

"...The Spirits are out at the moment, but if you'd like to leave a message...."

Zombie Zin: The Red of the Dead

Out of body experience

Yuri Geller as a 7 year old.

"Is there anybody there..?" Knock once for 'yes' and twice for 'no'..."

'Oh mate, I can't wait for the zombie apocalypse!'

"You know, my unearthly moans are a lot less terrifying when you're chomping a squeaky toy."

"Everyone say 'Hot Ghoul Summer!'"

"Take your time, Ma'am. Can you identify your least favorite Batman?"

'Vlad, I know it's not your fault that you don't have a reflection but...'

"Dearly beloved - We gather today to honor the life of the greatest magician of our time."

"We have a lot to be thankful for."

"Is it too much to ask for you to just act paranormal for once?"

'I don't quite know what it is... but there's something about this place gives me the creeps, Joe.'

'Relax, he just wants directions to cousin Franks's house in Brewster.'