Scenery Critic Gifts

'For the view I wouldn't come here'

"Too crowded. Let's go."

'Echo Tourism'

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"Here's to East, West, South and Bridgehampton, and all the little Hamptons in between."

Roads with a view.

"Time like these make me wish we had sprung for that apartment with a park view."

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

'You have to admit Darling that there's an awesome view from our eyrie...'

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

Rating the Sunset

She. 'Isn't it a pretty view?' Susceptible Youth. 'Awfully pretty, by Jove!'

"We interrupt this rubbish to give you another chance to switch off."

"It's as beautiful as the poster, except, of course, no more cows."

'What a view! The motivational poster doesn't do it justice.'

Hotel Room

'So what if we don't have running water?!'

'I'd prefer it if the view was closer.'

Urban Expansion

"Damn the Uris brothers, damn the Tishmans, damn Zeckendorf...."

"He added the computer, TV and cable box. Apparently, sand wasn't enough."

Lockdown had left Nigel desperate for a haircut.

'Sure, we host weddings, anniversaries and bar mitzvahs. On occasion, we even sell some wine.'

"What, may I ask, does landscape have to do with gender?"

Beware: Safe Area.

'Nice Shooting.'

"Ahhh, look at all the lonely people."

"It's a bit overrated really isn't it?"

'You've got her on 16.5 zoom and it's not good.'

'And whenever we do go somewhere, he blocks the view.'

Down the Rhine by the paddle steamer.