Scenery Critic T-Shirts

'For the view I wouldn't come here'

"Too crowded. Let's go."

Polar bear bowling alley

'Echo Tourism'

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"Here's to East, West, South and Bridgehampton, and all the little Hamptons in between."

'You have to admit Darling that there's an awesome view from our eyrie...'

"Time like these make me wish we had sprung for that apartment with a park view."

Quentin Tarantino

Roads with a view.

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

Rating the Sunset

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

She. 'Isn't it a pretty view?' Susceptible Youth. 'Awfully pretty, by Jove!'

'Mom, can't we stop to look at the Grand Canyon?'

"We interrupt this rubbish to give you another chance to switch off."

'I'd prefer it if the view was closer.'

'So what if we don't have running water?!'

"It's as beautiful as the poster, except, of course, no more cows."

'What a view! The motivational poster doesn't do it justice.'

Hotel Room

Urban Expansion

"Ever seen anything like it? No high rise condos to obstruct the view, no acres of parking lots, no traffic. What a waste."

"He added the computer, TV and cable box. Apparently, sand wasn't enough."

"Damn the Uris brothers, damn the Tishmans, damn Zeckendorf...."

Lockdown had left Nigel desperate for a haircut.

'Sure, we host weddings, anniversaries and bar mitzvahs. On occasion, we even sell some wine.'

Down the Rhine by the paddle steamer.

'And whenever we do go somewhere, he blocks the view.'

"What, may I ask, does landscape have to do with gender?"

As Tina looked more closely at her online date, she began to doubt his claim that his photo was recent.

'Nice Shooting.'

'You've got her on 16.5 zoom and it's not good.'

Beware: Safe Area.

"Ahhh, look at all the lonely people."