Landing A Recording Contract Gifts

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

"Just play the hit single, then you can do the experimental track."

'Somebody should tell our office manager that a motorized filing cabinet does not qualify as an electronic health record system.'

"Congratulations! You've won the bid."

"No, I'm still getting too much banjo."

"You're looking at the next Bob Dylan."

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

'I have Tourette's, and they play backup.'

Dive in Archive.

A singing microphone.

"In lieu of barking, he recorded a sweet diss track about you."

"In this business the ball takes funny bounces. I got you a recording contract."

The producer of the nature sounds albums tries to organize a world tour.'

'I can't remember the title,but it was on a little white piece of paper.'

Files.

'The music business.'

Rescuing the Music Industry.

'Your album is now the number one donation to charity shops.'

File room: A subsidiary of the black hole of the universe

'Is this the blues section?'

Bell out of order - please rap.

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

Lovebird and the Song Birds

music store

'This guy is recording our singing, but I can't see us getting royalties any time soon...'

'I know.. Let's write a song all about the evils of material wealth. After all, that last one netted us a bloody fortune!'

'...and, this morning - you've got the blues.'

"The good news is he costs a quarter of what a string quarted would; the bad news is that, of course, he's suffocating."

His Master Voice Desert Island