Landing A Recording Contract Gifts

Roger lands a recording contract after a ham sandwich gets stuck in his windpipe.

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

"Just play the hit single, then you can do the experimental track."

George Martin

'Somebody should tell our office manager that a motorized filing cabinet does not qualify as an electronic health record system.'

"Congratulations! You've won the bid."

"You're looking at the next Bob Dylan."

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

"No, I'm still getting too much banjo."

Dive in Archive.

'I have Tourette's, and they play backup.'

"In this business the ball takes funny bounces. I got you a recording contract."

"In lieu of barking, he recorded a sweet diss track about you."

Adam Levine

"When you said you were high up in the the music business..."

The producer of the nature sounds albums tries to organize a world tour.'

A singing microphone.

'I can't remember the title,but it was on a little white piece of paper.'

Files.

'The music business.'

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

'Is this the blues section?'

Sammy Davis Jnr.

File room: A subsidiary of the black hole of the universe

Bell out of order - please rap.

'Your album is now the number one donation to charity shops.'

Rescuing the Music Industry.

Simon Cowell

Lovebird and the Song Birds

His Master Voice Desert Island

'I know.. Let's write a song all about the evils of material wealth. After all, that last one netted us a bloody fortune!'

'...and, this morning - you've got the blues.'

"The good news is he costs a quarter of what a string quarted would; the bad news is that, of course, he's suffocating."

'This guy is recording our singing, but I can't see us getting royalties any time soon...'