Laboratory Assistant Gifts

'No, Igor, not Phillips head...Flat head! Flat head! Bring me the flat head!'

"No you idiot! I said to get a brain, not bran cereal!"

"Not everyone's cut out to be a mad scientist - maybe you're just meant to be a slightly disgruntled lab technician."

"Yeah, the Jekyll and Hyde thing is weird, but if I play it right, I get fed twice."

'Time for a break, Igor - I've been grafting for hours.'

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

'I always have trouble getting the lid off a new jar of brains.'

'You're still my main man, Igor- the monster is just science!'

"So, Mr. Igor - why do you want to be a laboratory assistant?"

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

"You're such a good listener."

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

"My homework ate my dog."

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point.' Tennyson.'

"Just for fun today we could fire some eggs around."

"I thought you wanted me to change."

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

"I hope he has skeletons in his closet."

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

'How's the gene-splicing going? Cloned any new hepatitis antibodies?'

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"I'm going to get you fired."

"Trying to impress us on your first day is understandable, but the moon has already been discovered."

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

Down a the lab - Germs "So what will you do when you grow up?" "Oh the usual...divide,multiply,infect,kill.."

'Let's agree to dispense with the rules of nomenclature and call it compound X.'

'You won't believe this, but even if the vaccine works, they wont give it to other sick mice.'