Lab Assistants Gifts

"I just learned that is a double-blind study, which means they're actually studying the lab assistants who are studying us. It's time to be irritatingly unpredictable!"

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

In basket-case.

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

"Morning, all!"

"You're such a good listener."

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

Fusion Lab. Did you tell the boss we need more hydrogen? Yes, I told him we were out of our element.

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

Good Luck!

"My homework ate my dog."

"I thought you wanted me to change."

"I hope he has skeletons in his closet."

"Just for fun today we could fire some eggs around."

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

Shake it all about sign on desk

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point.' Tennyson.'

'How's the gene-splicing going? Cloned any new hepatitis antibodies?'

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

Lots of personal improvement classes are going on down there. The white blood cells are teaching a self-defense class. The neuron is instructing others about improving communication skills. And a proton and cornea cell have teamed up to teach a class on staying focused and positive! Is the helium atom participating in any of this? No, he thinks he's above it all!

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"Trying to impress us on your first day is understandable, but the moon has already been discovered."

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."