Laboratory Technician Gifts

"I'm afraid this whole experiment is about to go south."

"Defunding increases aggression."

Urine Catcher

"No Shakespeare, yet. But, they are churning out ten drug names a week."

Micro and Macro Department,

"At first it's, we'll try this and we'll try that. But when there's a medical break-through, guess who takes all the credit."

'If you increase the magnification another million times you can see the safety regulations.'

'The two groups can't agree on the best route to the cheese, so Dr. Lazarus will introduce another variable to break the impasse.'

"Well, it certainly looks like your DNA. How many times have I told you to wear gloves before touching anything?"

'I'm growing mini human brains from stem cells.'

Before the linear accelerator.

Cats make lousy lab pets.

Bacterial Culture

'That's great, but it was supposed to be a laxative.'

'We ran a full DNA test, STR and Mitochondrial analysis... and Bob here 'Googled' it just to make sure.'

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

Printout in a genetics laboratory forming dna double helix

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

'No, I said my name is Dr Gofman. G as in glucose...'

'You know creativity involves a high tolerance for failure, don't you?'

'You mean you're going to do a test on a guinea pig now?'

"Whatever it is, it's very, very little."

Down a the lab - Germs "So what will you do when you grow up?" "Oh the usual...divide,multiply,infect,kill.."

'I'm still evaluating the new truth serum, you micro-managing, pig-eyed, snot-nosed, burnt-out, impatient, obnoxious, penny-pinching, glory-hogging tyrant.'

Microscope slide

"Dudes! Lets hit the scopes!"

'It was getting mouldy, so I threw it out.'

'Your chemistry grade isn't high enough for you to wear your hair that way.'

'I'm glad you two have finally met.'

'There's a flaw in your experimental design. All the mice are libras.'

"The resolution is superb, but I can't stand having to wait through all the ads first."

"I started in the Lab and worked my way up."

Researcher to partner: 'We spent 10 million dollars for a pill that melts in your mouth, not in your hand.'

"Aren't you getting a little too attached to the lab animals?"

'All our laboratories are ergonomically designed.'