Labor Relations Expert Gifts

"Of course under the new contract 24 hour cover will be optional..."

"Keep your money, sir. I'm on strike!"

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

BEWARE OF THE DOG!; 'So much for management's pledge to bargain in good faith.'

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

'You've changed since we got married.'

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

'It took me years of training, but now he's my perfect man.'

'We like the teamwork idea, but Billy won't let us play with his ball.'

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

'Your employee is either guilty of 'gross misconduct' or 'gross negligence'... you can't start disciplinary procedures on the basis that he is just 'plain gross'.'

'OK, who moved the photocopier?'

"John and Sidney work in human relations."

"The law is an ass...employment law, however, is an asset."

"I've never, ever taken you for granted, Ingrid."

'What do you mean, 'away team'? -- You're firing me, aren't you?'

'I don't know about you, but he was really beginning to get on my nerves.'

'He's a media consultant. He came with the multimedia software package.'

'Oh, you'll love working here. Nobody treats you any differently just becuase of your age, race, or gender.'

'Okay, we grew old together - Now what?'

"Before we start our wages negotiation talks, the lads would like to congratulate the chairman on his 83% salary increase."

"Corporate thinks it's time we updated our motivational strategies."

'This new 'flexible working' scheme is a great idea. . . It helps us to identify staff who have a more balanced life. People who have interests outside of the office.'

"Just tell us who's winning."

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

"I do love you, Robin, but I'm not sure I'm ready for a full-on commitment yet."

"Don't tell the employees, but management has acquired their union."