Lab Coat Wearer T-Shirts

'I feel much better. I think the cheese treatments must be working.'

Plasma Ball

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

Scientists are sexy

'As everyone knows, scientists are at their peaks early in their careers.'

'If we were in the Renaissance, we'd be painting nativity scenes right now.'

Plasma Ball

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

'Quickly boy, tell me which test tube you drank from?!'

"They're harmless when they're alone, but get a bunch of them together with a research grant and watch out."

"Although your discovery is very important, the consensus is that your article about it lacked suspense, and was completely devoid of humor."

Ann was shocked and awed when the General kissed her after her presentation and she wondered if he'd heard a word she'd said.

"Maybe we should have tried it on the rats first."

Successful Baseball Teams Rely on a Good Pharm System.

Identifying Scientists by their Lab Coats.

Animal Engineering Lab.

The mazes were too easy, so now they have me running through bureaucracies and looking for grants. (Originally published on 2007-10-18).

"If my calculations are correct, we'll finally have the answer to looking cute in the winter!"

"Great. First our funding ran out, now the rat."

"I just love the reactions I get every day when I come to work."

'I don't know what happened! All I did was say I went into medicine for the money!'

Under strict laboratory conditions extensive research proves that, despite being watched, pots do eventually boil.

'The results are far from conclusive, but it does cause cancer in humans.'

Genetic Engineering 'N Things

'If we could just add one more gene to make the skeptical customer trust us.'

'I'm testing whether the little blue pill. Will speed up the reproduction process of these organisms.'

"...then - and here's the funny part - I add the potassium sulfate..."

Recombinant DNA Lab.

"You've just proven that your job doesn't exist."

'Report cards, folks - and they have to be signed by your high school chemistry teachers.'

It's my latest recombinant DNA project. Are you a man or a mouse?

'Just as I thought...made in Alaska!'

'If that's true, if you've really done it, I can say unequivocally, that is indeed...Nothing to sneeze at!'

"What particle collider physicists do in their spare time"