Kwarky Experimenter T-Shirts

"The control group has taken control."

"Young Frankenstein"

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

Yound Einstein disproves an early theory: 'Aha! A watched pot DOES boil!'

Sexual chemistry set

"Could you keep still?"

I'm looking forward tot he day we can afford some real statues for this place.

'Let's see what else will explode in the microwave!'

"One day mommy's slime molds will all be yours!"

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

The Soundness of Newton's Laws

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

Son, I don't think this was how Whistler painted HIS mother.

Uncle Mort, have you been playing with your home genetic engineering kit again? Guilty. I was trying to clone my own DNA. For laughs, I mixed up my genes with compost. Mixed up? Technically, cross-bred. Trump is a meathead! Well, you're a vegetable.

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

'...the side effects of this designer drug are more beneficial than it's intended use!'

"I feel so seen right now."

Cursing Scientist.

No other lab did as cutting edge research using lab rats as test subjects as McWit Lab.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Esq.

'J.B. Potts, Head of Research, Aerodynamics...'

"Sure we'll get in trouble, but our science grades will make up for it."

Flo was mortified when she discovered that her web cam was broadcasting when she was testing out possible new looks.

Science Project: Monkey See, Monkey Do.

'You will tell me if you have any doubts about my formulae, won't you?'

'I don't like being a crash dummy either but there are some jobs humans won't do.'

'...then add some of the yellow powder to those blue crystals, heat it for a while, and see how you like it.'

'Oh, wow, you found my science project and it works!'

Wishing Well

Under strict laboratory conditions extensive research proves that, despite being watched, pots do eventually boil.