Kosher Comedian Gifts

"Look, it's manna or nothing - No WAY He's going to give us ham sandwiches!"

"You are so lucky I keep kosher."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

St. Elmo's fired.

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Fruit Fly Job Interviews

'But I think my strongest asset as an employee is my aversion to pretense, coupled with an unwavering commitment to a regular-guy persona!'

When Holy Cows are sent out to "Pastor"

"If I had known this was such a great place to work I would have lied more on my resume."

Garden of Eden and scrumping

"I didn't bring a resume. I brought coffee and donuts."

"Where do you see yourself getting drunk in five years?"

"Thou Shalt not Covid thy Neighbor's Wife!"

Applause

"Honey! A Jewish starfish!"

"Your resume looks good, but I'm not seeing any DNA data."

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

You may have hired the best lawyer but I don't think that you can sue God because of a downgoing Dow Jones, sir.

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

NOW HIRING, 'I don't have any formal training for the position, but I've read all the relevant Wikipedia articles.'

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

"Jesus is not here. Let's check the one over..."

'I went into hunting and gathering. And you?'

Open entrance door to find exit door directly behind it.

"Closed until further notice."

"You're not giving me the job because I'm 'over qualified'? Oh, don't worry, most of those qualifications have been falsified."