Kosher Humorist Gifts

'I haven't eaten kosher in ages.'

"Guess who brought king cake!"

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Well, we needed the rain."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

At the 2021 Religious Games

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"You call this a constitution?"

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'We'd better speed up the Eve project -- Adam's got himself an imaginary playmate.'

Guru.

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'