Kosher Humorist Gifts

'I haven't eaten kosher in ages.'

"Guess who brought king cake!"

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

Moses separating his Laundry.

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"Well, we needed the rain."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"You call this a constitution?"

At the 2021 Religious Games

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

Pope tarts.

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

Guru.

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

'We'd better speed up the Eve project -- Adam's got himself an imaginary playmate.'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'