Conversion Comedian Gifts

'Just like the website, lots of visitors, few conversions.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

St. Elmo's fired.

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Fruit Fly Job Interviews

'But I think my strongest asset as an employee is my aversion to pretense, coupled with an unwavering commitment to a regular-guy persona!'

"If I had known this was such a great place to work I would have lied more on my resume."

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

Nun Binning the Devil

'Either you say 'I do' or you don't -- You can't plead nolo contendere.'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

"Where do you see yourself getting drunk in five years?"

"I didn't bring a resume. I brought coffee and donuts."

Applause

"Are there any available upgrade options?"

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

"Three more classes and I get my belt."

"Your resume looks good, but I'm not seeing any DNA data."

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

'Look, Brother Timothy - a sign from God!'