Conversion Comedian Pillows

'Just like the website, lots of visitors, few conversions.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

St. Elmo's fired.

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Fruit Fly Job Interviews

"If I had known this was such a great place to work I would have lied more on my resume."

'But I think my strongest asset as an employee is my aversion to pretense, coupled with an unwavering commitment to a regular-guy persona!'

When Holy Cows are sent out to "Pastor"

Nun Binning the Devil

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

'Either you say 'I do' or you don't -- You can't plead nolo contendere.'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

"Where do you see yourself getting drunk in five years?"

"I didn't bring a resume. I brought coffee and donuts."

"Thou Shalt not Covid thy Neighbor's Wife!"

Applause

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

"Your resume looks good, but I'm not seeing any DNA data."

"Are there any available upgrade options?"

You may have hired the best lawyer but I don't think that you can sue God because of a downgoing Dow Jones, sir.

"Three more classes and I get my belt."

NOW HIRING, 'I don't have any formal training for the position, but I've read all the relevant Wikipedia articles.'

'Look, Brother Timothy - a sign from God!'

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'