Religion Comedian Pillows

''Cholesterol'? — I told you to make them out of dust!'

Support group for sheep.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

"You call this a constitution?"

"OMG, LOL!"

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

Pope tarts.

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

St. Elmo's fired.

"Does the ark have wifi?"

Sermon Applause.

When Holy Cows are sent out to "Pastor"

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

A woman in prayer

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

Applause