Religion Comedian Pillows

''Cholesterol'? — I told you to make them out of dust!'

Support group for sheep.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"You call this a constitution?"

"OMG, LOL!"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

St. Elmo's fired.

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

Sermon Applause.

"Does the ark have wifi?"

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

A woman in prayer

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

Applause

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'