Religion Comedians Pillows

"Attendance is way up since they substituted fortune cookies for those funny little wafers."

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"OMG, LOL!"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

St. Elmo's fired.

Sermon Applause.

"Nice to see you replenishing the font with holy water vicar."

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

"Does the ark have wifi?"

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

Applause

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

The Pope getting a Popsicle for Popes from the Freezer

Monkey's Ejected from the Garden of Eden

"And in the beginning Mary begat a little lamb"