Religious Comedian Pillows

Garden of Eden and scrumping

Priest reads sign above fire extinguisher that says: 'In case of quenchable fire, break glass'.

St. Elmo's fired.

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

'The Book of Revelation is full of spoilers.'

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

Support group for sheep.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"OMG, LOL!"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"You call this a constitution?"

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"Does the ark have wifi?"

Sermon Applause.

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

A woman in prayer

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

Applause

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'