Knock-out Humor Aficionado Gifts

Taxidermist Pugilist.

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"Would you like to see the markup?"

The Thinker. The Listener

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

'We know it's good...we had an excellent ghost writer.'

'That was a peach of a right hander the referee gave you!'

"Three years running 'fake news' websites? You're just what we're looking for!"

"Eeeeek!!! My okay to this one night stand must have been faked by Cambridge Analytica!!"

Craft gallery. Fudge Shoppe. Bike rentals. Clear-cut woods for luxury condos. The sure signs that we've arrived! Right. At our wilderness getaway! Almost a lake view. For sale.

"Fenwick, do you see any mistletoe on my coattail?"

Ask me about my uppercut.

Next Terrifying Military Threats

"And make sure you give me a paper straw... gotta do my bit for the planet."

"But, for ten million bucks, would you lick it?"

'Nothing much happened in the Middle East today.... Ha! -- Just kidding.'

Tooth Fairy sitting with judges at boxing match.

Addicted to Oil

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Goes To College

"The world isn't ready for a book like this. How would you feel about publishing it posthumously?"

"My back goes out more often than I do..."

"Yes, when I was young, I was a golden retriever: I'm more like a silver retriever now..."

This is Dr. Sadie. What's your question, caller? How can I tell if my cold is really bronchitis? Stop yer sniveling. In my day, a body would hope it was bronchitis. It gave you a chance to prove your grit! Nothing like a touch of burning pain, wheezing, and crackling in the chest to separate the women from the girls. What kind of doctor are you, again?

Child with an eyeball in his mouth.

"Somehow these awards are seeming less special."

"He's not working to his full voltage."

Doomsdayer waves sign saying 'The world isn't going to end, it's just going to suck'.

"It's gutsy and bold, and frankly, I like it. But polls indicate the market isn't quite ready for human sacrifices."

Woman has man in shopping trolley

"Banana who?"

'True but only in practice, not in principle.'

"There's a man at the door with a wooden leg."