Knighthood Ceremony Gifts

'AAAAGH! Oh, KNEEL! I thought you said my name - Neil!'

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'No, but thanks for asking,'

Win - win

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

underwater knight

'The correct response, Tanya, is 'I do' not 'yeah, whatever'.'

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

Sir Jasper Murgatroyd

Employee of the Month

Folk Wedding

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

"Call him Koffee- he keeps us awake!"

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

'Does my head look big in this?'

'I didn't get the salary increase, but I've been moved one parking space closer to the entrance.'

'Sorry, I always cry at weddings...'

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'