Knighthood Ponderer Gifts

Damsel NOT in distress.

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

"What was I thinking?!"

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

'THAT'S the Holy Land? - You're kidding, right?'

The Politics of Food.

'As I see it, it's a toss-up between a Belgian data processing machine and an American electronic computer.'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

'Don't mind me....I'll just sit here while you work on homeland security, unemployment, health care and your many other prbblems!'

'What did He do before he was God?'

"Don't mention Pat Buchanan, pro or con."

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

A man holding a pro-life sign stands above a group of beaten people who are pro choice.

Evolution of God. . .

Biden Workload

Various Birds of Pray.

'Osgood was a theologian back on Earth, and he thought all this stuff would be allegorical.'

"Who has the most power... the president or his wife?"

'I know we're laying up treasures in Heaven, but I still think you should talk to the Church Board about your pension,'

"My basic judicial philosophy is 'Guilty.'"

Lotus Position: 'I'm a fiscal conservative, but a liberal on social issues and the environment...'

"The news lady says this bad guy was charged with assault...but he didn't have rifle. How's that possible?!"

"What Caesar doesn't understand is that all politics is local!"

"It's for weird minds - they're not wired like mine...oh! I'm a poet and didn't know it!"

'We don't have a health plan, but we have a very nice cemetery right out in the churchyard.'

Randy, great news: I've become a person of faith. Which faith? The main one. the hip one. you know - the one used in all the red states. Or maybe the one Madonna and Tom Cruise are into. Either way, I'm deeply committed. You should be.

Mounted Devil

'Is it politically correct to be more or less ashamed than usual of being English today?'