Kitten Caper Connoisseur Gifts

You naughty kittens, you lost your mittens? Now you shall have a pie.

Biofelineism

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

Cat Boss

'Uh-oh, Ben's making his move on Goldie's food again.'

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

"It's only the wind."

"All right, we straighten this out immediately! René threw the bouillabaisse at Jacques, no? The Jam-bon en croûte was thrown by Jacques at René, correct? The truite en gelée and the fraises des bois were thrown by François at Henri, and Henri threw the mousse au chocolat at François, and . . ."

"What the?! Have you read about the Schrodinger's cat paradox? That's really twisted dude!"

'Get Doc Weston and Tell him I have a fever and to come over quick. We have a show to do tonight.' The talking dog goes over to the doctor's house and simply says 'woof'.

"It's kittens."

'Coffee? Kitten?'

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

Up, Up, Up, Up....Down, Down, Down, Down...

"Darling, I can't sleep. I mean, what if the kitten should get it into his head to press that button of his?"

'I've never seen a healthier kitten. Cuter, most definitely, but never healthier.'

"The wings help. Now pick up the bowl and I'll chase it around the room a bit."

Houdini's Dog.

"You realize, I guess, that you've left your DNA on that."

Cat Video Cinema.

'Hmmm, the 27th you say... Yes, I'm away that day, so I guess it's OK for you to play...'

'Couldn't you, and your ... your naked fur go sit somewhere else?'

101 uses of a dead cat: lectern

Quick, bring me a stencil. Banksy's dog.

Kitten Futures

'Love the kitten heels!'

Cats-can-sell anything advertising agency.

"The Mind Of Whiskers."

Dashiell Hammett

Meow, Meow, Yeow!

"He's been watching all those cookery programmes."

'Look, Daddy! - Fluffy begat!'

"Rufus, stop being naughty with Mrs. Curtis!"

Bees arresting a honey bear.