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Biofelineism

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

'Uh-oh, Ben's making his move on Goldie's food again.'

Cat Boss

"It's only the wind."

"All right, we straighten this out immediately! René threw the bouillabaisse at Jacques, no? The Jam-bon en croûte was thrown by Jacques at René, correct? The truite en gelée and the fraises des bois were thrown by François at Henri, and Henri threw the mousse au chocolat at François, and . . ."

"What the?! Have you read about the Schrodinger's cat paradox? That's really twisted dude!"

'Get Doc Weston and Tell him I have a fever and to come over quick. We have a show to do tonight.' The talking dog goes over to the doctor's house and simply says 'woof'.

"It's kittens."

'Coffee? Kitten?'

"Darling, I can't sleep. I mean, what if the kitten should get it into his head to press that button of his?"

Up, Up, Up, Up....Down, Down, Down, Down...

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

"The wings help. Now pick up the bowl and I'll chase it around the room a bit."

'I've never seen a healthier kitten. Cuter, most definitely, but never healthier.'

Houdini's Dog.

"You realize, I guess, that you've left your DNA on that."

'Hmmm, the 27th you say... Yes, I'm away that day, so I guess it's OK for you to play...'

'Couldn't you, and your ... your naked fur go sit somewhere else?'

101 uses of a dead cat: lectern

Kitten Futures

'Look, Daddy! - Fluffy begat!'

Dashiell Hammett

"The Mind Of Whiskers."

"He's been watching all those cookery programmes."

Bees arresting a honey bear.

"Rufus, stop being naughty with Mrs. Curtis!"

Cats-can-sell anything advertising agency.