Kitchen Sorceress T-Shirts

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

Master Mum

Come dine with me!

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Hungry child

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

Benihana style of cooking.

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

Surprise in the salad bowl

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

Husband bakes a pie

"Voila!...smooth pastry." (Lady teaching chef to iron dough).

Witch's Brew.

You're the sizzle in my roast!

"Gigot de sept heures."

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

Hot pot

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

A Creature WAS Stirring

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

"Fridge-to-table"

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

"More?"

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

"More helium."

The legend of Chef Arthur.

"I'm making your favorite dessert, dear … seven layer cake."