Kitchen Witch T-Shirts

"I'm writing a memoir. It's mostly recipes."

'Of course it's lite. I wouldn't make it if it wasn't lite.'

Hansel and Gretel, now microwavable.

'You've burnt the ghoulash!'

Come dine with me!

Lady of the Cake.

Domestic Goddess.

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Hungry child

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

'Needs salt!'

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

Benihana style of cooking.

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"I just need help getting the pit out."

Cake Friday!

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

Surprise in the salad bowl

You're the sizzle in my roast!

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

"Voila!...smooth pastry." (Lady teaching chef to iron dough).

'Cooking'

Husband bakes a pie

Witch's Brew.

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

The Perfect Foil

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"Gigot de sept heures."