Shopping Sorceress T-Shirts

'Jamie's not here, she's out with her mother learning the Dark Shopping Arts.'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

How would Madam like to pay?

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

Ladies Fashions - "Money isn't tight - you are!"

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

'Man, I've bought heaps on my credit card this month...It always amazes me...How many things I'd rather have than money.'

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

"Halloween stuff already? It's August!"

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

"It must be near New Year's Day...There are Easter eggs in the shop windows!"

"It's less of a spell than it is a signature scent."

Don't miss this opportunity to own something really expensive!

'I was walking past the washers and dryers and one of my socks disappeared.'

'Shove' (at big sale).

'Spending and consuming - that's my kind of patriotism.'

"It's a recipe for self-care."

I brake for all 50 off Sales.

"It's so drapey—should I get something with a crisper line?"

Shopping Trips

Master Mum

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

'Dear, this is gift shop number 3. You now owe me 1 bait & tackle, 1 hardware store, and a bar.'

'We would like an unspoiled paradise with lots of shops.'

"My husband's suing me for mall practice."

Winter Sale

Frankenstein Collectibles: Buyer Beware

Sweaters. Remember, son, we're men. We walk in, we buy, we walk out. No browsing.

'I just got my second wind! How about another $500?'

"Do you have something that says, 'Quit stalking me'?"

'Dear, if the GPS can't find your nutritional yeast flakes, how can I?'

"Oh wait, we need to be on the 1-9 North bound escalator to get to the food court."

Giant Shoe Sale

'Come on, Raymond, we haven't reached our credit limit yet!'