Kitchen Quickie Gifts

TV Chef Cooking Range

Counting ribs

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

Chef copy robot

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

Cookie Surveillance

"To keep prices down, we require you to cook your own food, wait in yourselves and wash your dishes."

"Fridge-to-table"

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

"If I had a restaurant, it would be called the Can and Microwave"

A man flips a pancake onto a child's head

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

"It's good to see that... ...Tia Carmen teaching Gracie valuable family traditions passed down through the generations."

'Are you sure the recipe calls for a whole cup of good burgundy?'

Looks like I do dishes again.

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

Cat Chores

Chef: In Case of Emergency - can opener and canned food.

Anatomy of a freezer drawer

'Fish fresh?' 'I don't know I've only been here two weeks .'

'What do you mean, you're not hungry? - Your mother spent two minutes cooking that in the microwave just for you!'

Dog reaching over top of counter to steal cookies.

'Your tests indicate that you have a very short attention span -- you should be either a short-order cook or a news anchorman.'

"Well, tell me, Randy. Has someone eaten all the refrigerator magnets again?"

'I've done the washing up - Do we have any glue?'

'Grate two hundred grammes of cheddar cheese...' - 'Uh-oh.' - 'Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...' - 'Cheese gives me nightmares.' - 'Argh!!! No!!! Make it stop!! I can't take the pain!! No!! Arghhhh!!!'

Ants take cheese and grater

Cuckoo blender

"Please don't tell me they're making broth."

"What town are we in??"

'I know you're sensitive, Wally, but I only asked you to help wash the dishes!'

"Dropping a spoon means a beautiful woman will visit soon."