Kitchen Improvisor Gifts

'Because I couldn't find the potato masher, that's why!'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Tool Box

"Well, he promised you the moon and stars."

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

Conservation Area

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

'Ray's as excited as...well...as excited as a guy who just bought a snowblower on the eve of a storm.'

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

"I'd like to toast our guests."

"You pulled most of the muscles in your back lifting your to-do list? You've got a bigger problem than pulled muscles."

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

'Well, that's fixed that.'

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

The Day Dreamer.

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'Harry won't even build me a new kitchen.'

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

'Please excuse the mess. The interior decorators are in.'

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

Man's best friend

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

I'm sorry Miss, but your artistic license has expired.

"Our smart home sure is sensitive. Every time I hammer a nail in the wall it screams."

'Isn't it great? It gives us four times the storage space as a regular fridge!'

"When you get a minute, I have some kitchen shelves you can put up."

I know! How about I take out the trash? Clean the basement? Re-tile the bathroom? Take you to the ballet? Ok. Ok. I'll have "the talk" with Teddy.

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."