Kitchen Cowboy Gifts

Wendy likes horses...and she is a keen cook.

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

"That's it. We’re toast."

Soup of the month.

'Like death by salad.'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

'Does this thing get channel four.'

The Complete Spaghetti Dinner.

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

Deliboys

'It's all homemade.'

"Larry, what's the weather forecast?" "Let me ask you something. Did you make waffles this morning? Because someone had maple syrup on their hands, and I seem to recall a hand moving me... a pretty, pretty, pretty sticky hand..."

"So why do you need a ladder to make pancakes?"

"Looks like it's time to make the banana bread."

"The Taco is good on the trail but where do I put the drink?"

Chef copy robot

I made you a cake!

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."