Kitchen Gunslinger Gifts

Doughnut Making

Billy. The Kid.

Glue gun? Glitter? Dang it, I grabbed my crafting belt again.

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

Wendy likes horses...and she is a keen cook.

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

A butcher and his apprentice.

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

Son, you'll never be quick on the draw unless you pull your dang pants up.

'Hey, I made a hole in Juan.'

"Belly rubs later, girl. Belly rubs later."

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

'LOOK RENOLDSON, i've had JUST about enough of your moaning and groaning! IF you can't stand the heat, GET out of the oven!' / A chef scolding his apprentice inside an oven.

"Okay, I'm not the fastest gun in the west. . . but I am the fastest gun in my immediate family!"

"I'm thinking of changing my name."

'I counted six shots! Rush him before he can reload!'

Cowboy spins guns, spins himself.

"Though you be a villainous scoundrel, fairness demands I inform you that's your cell."

'If you shoot your foot off don't coming running to me.'

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

"Ain't nobody gonna end a meeting faster than me."

"Is this the table with a complaint?"

'Dewey is a cowboy's cowboy!'

"This Bounty is useless against the Quicker Messer Maker."

Nobody Comes Between Nancy & Her Mondrian

"At the last minute, his personal physician always intervenes."

If they can put a man on the moon, then why can't they... develop a clear plastic wrap that doesn't bunch up!?

"What?! You didn't say nuthin' about this bein' a yo' mam joke battle!"

"No, no, I think it's 'two-gun' Pete you're after!"

'Hello, police? There's been a food fight here and I'm afraid the cheese got the worse of it.'

Pizza Fencing

"This town isn't big enough for the two of us."

'That stranger's tellin' the truth, sheriff. Ol' Buford here done went into his windup first.'

'So you've decided to drop the whole 'man with no name' image, have you?' 'Tarquin Chadwick, Gunslinger'