Kitchen Gunslinger Gifts

Doughnut Making

Billy. The Kid.

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

Wendy likes horses...and she is a keen cook.

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

A butcher and his apprentice.

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

"Belly rubs later, girl. Belly rubs later."

'Hey, I made a hole in Juan.'

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

'LOOK RENOLDSON, i've had JUST about enough of your moaning and groaning! IF you can't stand the heat, GET out of the oven!' / A chef scolding his apprentice inside an oven.

"I'm thinking of changing my name."

'I counted six shots! Rush him before he can reload!'

"Okay, I'm not the fastest gun in the west. . . but I am the fastest gun in my immediate family!"

"Though you be a villainous scoundrel, fairness demands I inform you that's your cell."

'If you shoot your foot off don't coming running to me.'

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

"At the last minute, his personal physician always intervenes."

'Dewey is a cowboy's cowboy!'

"This town isn't big enough for the two of us."

"What?! You didn't say nuthin' about this bein' a yo' mam joke battle!"

'Hello, police? There's been a food fight here and I'm afraid the cheese got the worse of it.'

"No, no, I think it's 'two-gun' Pete you're after!"

"This Bounty is useless against the Quicker Messer Maker."

If they can put a man on the moon, then why can't they... develop a clear plastic wrap that doesn't bunch up!?

Pizza Fencing

Nobody Comes Between Nancy & Her Mondrian

"Ain't nobody gonna end a meeting faster than me."

"Is this the table with a complaint?"

'So you've decided to drop the whole 'man with no name' image, have you?' 'Tarquin Chadwick, Gunslinger'

'That stranger's tellin' the truth, sheriff. Ol' Buford here done went into his windup first.'

"Step 10 paces, turn and post your opinion on facebook."