Kitchen Comic Lover Gifts

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Cook and her Maids

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

"Save yourself — it’s a casserole!"

'Well, ex-CU-U-Use ME!'

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

"It'll never be ready in time."

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

'How do you want your eggs, too hard or too soft?'

"Holy smoke. What kind of frosting is that?"

"Maybe I haven't suffered enough. Why don't you whip up some of your curried pork balls and refried rice for dinner?"

Jar Wars: 'Use the forks Luke... Use the forks!'

Whipping Cream

"Life is pointless."

Grand rounds vs. ground rounds.

"Keep it in the sling and rub hot sauce on our wing every 4 hours."

'Well, fancy meeting you here.'

'Well, that's the last of the garlic repellent.'

'No more beans this week, I think, Matilda.'

'What's your thumb doing on my steak?' 'Want me to drop it again?'

'It was embarrassing. I always swore I'd die of her cooking.'

Lemon beelzebub for table 666

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

"Eggs, eggs, eggs...that Delia Smith's ruining my life."

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'Aw, cool! Look! They got us a hot tub!'

'What do you mean, I get a reprieve from my wife's cooking? My wife is a cook here at the hospital.'

Russian eggs.

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