King Of Their Domain Gifts

"You're taking this 'King Of Beasts' thing too seriously."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

Whistler's Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandson

The Unhappy King

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

The Royal Wii

'I have created the first interactive pile of paperwork.'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

Records?

'Can you spare a minute, madam - I'm doing a king of all I survey.'

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

"We need a better piling system."

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

In and Out Trays

"If I had it all to do over again, I would have liked to be the King of Swing."

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

"Why, this is fit for me!"