Domain Detective Gifts

'What do you mean 'IamThePope.com' is already taken?!? By who!?!'

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

Alternative Medicine

'See, dear, you can't believe everything you read. It says so right here on the internet!'

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

The new Physics

Three-dimensional, eh --- What makes you so spatial?

Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

'Not only did they install an elevator to help you get over the dam, they also hired an elevator operator.'

"I only told a few friends."

"If this is secret information the government doesn't want us to know, how come we can read about it on facebook?"

Spam traps on mobiles

"Yes, I'm a superhero. I'm not attractive, muscular or charming because I work in the 'cyber crimes' division."

I'd like a second opinion on your self-diagnosis - So a random guy from the waiting room is googling your symptoms.

"They'll never guess how we stole their data."

'Sanders, our numbers on google are slipping, let's pump up the keywords.'

"First, they take my domain, then they take my domain name."

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

"Jeez, Alice, at least Google him first."

"I like it; but let's make sure we can get the domain name first."

The Darknet starts right here.

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

Berlitz guide to Scamese

Psychiatry. Why go on a voyage of self-discovery when I can just Google myself?

"That's not what it says on the Web."

Doctor, I looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead. Don't believe everything you read on the net.

"You fix it by buying a new one."

'Four out of five websites disagree with your diagnosis.'

"I already know he's gone — it's been on the Internet."

"Your internet researched analysis of your condition and treatment is impressive,and it would be 100% on target...if you were a goat!"