King Of Their Domain Pillows

"You're taking this 'King Of Beasts' thing too seriously."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

The Unhappy King

Whistler's Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandson

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

The Royal Wii

'I have created the first interactive pile of paperwork.'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'Can you spare a minute, madam - I'm doing a king of all I survey.'

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

Records?

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

"We need a better piling system."

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

In and Out Trays

"If I had it all to do over again, I would have liked to be the King of Swing."

"We lost another battle? Why does this keep happening?"

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'