Kind-hearted Pet Pals Gifts

'What you call 'Random acts of kindness' we call our 'Daily dog routine'.'

Bitchbark Canoe

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

'Bloody favouritism I call it.'

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

Raised by Dogs

Christmas Pets

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

PET THEORIES

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

Chasebook

"You're completely screwed up."

"Humans are strange."

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

We're halfway through teaching her to roll over.

"And for dessert, I'd like the mice pudding."

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

Pet Entertainers

'I suppose an explanation is in order?'

Separation

Cat king.

But it's the other leg that hurts.

Dog Day Afternoon

"Cat park"

The Tutankhamen Expedition 1908 (The Economy Version).

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

"What's all this?"

Examination.

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'