Pet Pals Gifts

Be a friend.

"Bailey! What part of 'never jump on the Stickley' don't you understand?!"

'But you're a dog! How can you know how to read?!?'

'You can't see any drug detail men because the waiting room's full?

Bitchbark Canoe

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

Licensed Therapist

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

"He's no hat and all corgis."

A man and his dog

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

Pet a Puppy

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

Woman setting out a dinner party with name cards labeled cat person, dog person.

"A little help, please."

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

PET THEORIES

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

'I found him on the internet.'

'No JAMIE,you're NOT keeping any strays! Now GET rid of him and go wash up for dinner!...' / 'Sorry kiddo,i tried...'

"You're completely screwed up."

Sunday P.M. July 15, 1990 in the Watternods' Living Room with the Watternods' Dog and Mr. Wu Lung's Cat from Next Door

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

"And for dessert, I'd like the mice pudding."

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

"No, wait a minute. I'm King. You're Rex."

"I know you're scared, but you can do this! Remember that time I had to clean up after you and I didn't have a bag and had to use leaves?! I was so afraid, but I did it…"