Pet Parent Friend Gifts

'Face it, Herbert. You're not a lap dog!'

"We walked him a lot when he was a puppy. . . now he walks us."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Bitchbark Canoe

Playing Fetch.

Polly txt speak

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"Why do they do that?"

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"Quick, start the car!"

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"It get it – you're hungry."

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"He was a very good boy."

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

Pinocchio's nose used by cat as a scratching post

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

Raw food, after you leave for work.

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

Cat Nip.

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"