Kid Wisdom Gifts

"Tasty and nutritious? Any five year old knows that's a contradiction in terms."

"Just be yourself."

"Feel free to take notes."

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

"Hi-yah!"

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'I'll give you a clue. The answer is a number, not a fruit.'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"Me? How about you go closer and read the plaque!"

Lamb Noise.

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

"Life's a lottery - That's why you need balls"

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

"We have the exact same taste."

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

'You must heal yourself.'

'Thanks for the book, dad. Now I can reach my computer!'

Beyond the known and the unknown.

Raining

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"