Folk Wisdom Gifts

"I enjoy the pearls of folksy wisdom as much as the next guy, but what, exactly, does he do around here?"

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

Super-Tia makes Mal de Ojo undo its curse!

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

"I'm sensing a nostalgia for when your mother rubbed butter on them."

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."

'And just where did you study medicine?'

"Don't try to understand them, just ride and rope and brand them."

"Here, let me put some ointment on your bug bite. I made it myself from cayenne powder, licorice root and mugwort leaves blended with that vanilla pudding I made last week. Hmm...it's not here."

Chicken soup is in an intravenous drip.

"The pharmacist will be with you shortly to answer any questions that you have."

'This prescription will stimulate your funny bone which will cause you to laugh. We both know that laughter is the best medicine.'

'Talk about temperamental. All I did was suggest he try vinegar and brown paper.'

"She attended the Tia Carmen medical school."

'Oh, poor thing. You've got a really high temperature!'

'You and your 'an apple a day keeps eviction away'...'

'Grandpa says there's more to life than what you see on TV. He must not have cable.'

'The secret of my old age? Simple - I haven't died yet!'

'Turns out it was starve a cold, feed a fever.'

"If you have a boyfriend, I have some advice, young lady! Wisdom that's been handed down from generation to generation!"

Folk wisdom of the galaxies

"This could only be the work of...mal de ojo!"

"Dichos are bits of cultural wisdom that reflect upon life as it happens. Superstitions are magical rituals that fill a gap when knowledge fails. 'Even the best cook blackens her pot' is a dicho. Eating eggs with whipped cream before a big test is a super

"I swear, since I started sleeping with that bar of soap under my pillow I haven't had nearly as many brain cramps."

"If you had listened to me when you were twelve, you wouldn't be in this mess."

"Hello...are you the person who glanced briefly at my niece with feelings of jealousy or covetousness?"

Life's toughest decision-when to start middle age.

"Tasty and nutritious? Any five year old knows that's a contradiction in terms."

Words Can Never Harm You!

"My kids understand me. I've offered them the same disadvantages I grew up with."

'Is it starve a cold and feed a fever...or feed a cold and starve a fever?'

"I tried an apple a day, I tried chicken soup, I tried vitamin C..."

'The company now offers one sweet, well-rounded health plan with 24/7 coverage...an apple a day.'

Colds can be relieved by inhaling Eucalyptus.