Traditional Wisdom Lover Gifts

Hear No Evil

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

"Take the off this minute, young lady."

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

Folk Wedding

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"Tia Carmen, I have a killer test tomorrow. Can you help?"

"Does dad know you're dating the guy from the Seder plate?"

Shall I be mother?

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

"So, are you predicting an early spring?"

Maypole

The Unknown Philosopher, who first realised life is no picnic.

'How about June? -- I've always had June weddings!'

It's a tradition. On hole number 1 in the first round of the season, Ernie always says that's the best shot I've hit this year!

"Milton Woolburg, founder of traditions, legends, and general flimlam."

Shavuot - Like!

Mass Confucian

Hypatia

Why don't we invite Hypothesis? It's always a good idea to have an educated guest… Party List. Mesomides. Loxias. Anaximenes. Thales.

'The 20th century wasn't bad, but I preferred the 19th. I'm open minded for the 21st.'

'Don't be silly, dear. You don't look a day over one hundred eighty three.'

We're waiting to see if he'll see his shadow.

Poorly planned Chanukah crafts

Time for Tea

Socrates

Queen reigning.

"The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates. Sounds like a man who never had a tax return audited.

"We don't make toys any more. I send the elves to buy them in China."

"'Meaning'? Hahahahaha..."

First Marriage.

'I want a traditional church wedding but Sam prefers something trendy. Can we compromise and do it bunji-jumping from the steeple?'

'Well,what do you think of the new gown and wig?'

'Not ANOTHER pub boarded up!'