Old-school Wisdom Gifts

'Grandpa says there's more to life than what you see on TV. He must not have cable.'

Gen-Next Library

"First they came for the horoscope and the crossword and I did nothing. Then they came for the cartoonists and there was no-one left to satirise it."

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

Psychologist is SHOCKED by what his elderly patent is telling him.

"Whatever happened to throwing Frisbees around?"

'My battery is dead. How does it end?'

'The 20th century wasn't bad, but I preferred the 19th. I'm open minded for the 21st.'

"Books are tricky. You can't text with a text book and you can't call with a phone book!"

'Oh darling, it is not an ibook, it is only a book.'

'It was great! I learned how to use dial phones, drive a standard transmission and cook without a microwave...'

"Actually, I'm sitting here reading a book—just to see if I can still do it."

As you like it - Parisians who will never be under police supervision

'Well, that was when a pretty rock was worth a pretty rock...'

"I take it you've never had a bank account before?"

"It's your Grandpa's version of keeping up with technology...reading the papers online."

'Oh, poor thing. You've got a really high temperature!'

"I enjoy the pearls of folksy wisdom as much as the next guy, but what, exactly, does he do around here?"

Folk wisdom of the galaxies

"I hate everything with a chip in it that isn't chocolate."

'All this talk of ABS's and old style MDP's is causing a lot of stress...The partners don't take kindly to change... He still hasn't recovered from us moving his desk nearer to the door!'

'Dad! Open up to social networking. Stop being so Henry David Thoreau-ish!'

'You can swipe it as many times as you like, but that's not how a book works.'

"We have all the latest technologies, but catching them still takes old fashioned footwork."

"So dad, you do know all that stuff happened yesterday, right?"

'I feel useless: My Master has cancelled his newspaper subscription and reads his news online now...'

"If you plagiarize from the internet, you'll get caught. Copy from books. Nobody reads books anymore."

"I'm cutting articles out of the newspaper while we still can."

'Oh-oh - Here comes that dirty old philosopher again.'

"A kiss will make your boo-boo feel better...but my remedio of cayenne pepper and sugar will cure it!"

"My mother used to say, 'If you really love something, let it go. It's always more fun to chase your dinner!'"