Old-school Wisdom Gifts

'Grandpa says there's more to life than what you see on TV. He must not have cable.'

Gen-Next Library

'When I asked you to do research for your assignment, I meant the library not on Google!'

"First they came for the horoscope and the crossword and I did nothing. Then they came for the cartoonists and there was no-one left to satirise it."

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

Psychologist is SHOCKED by what his elderly patent is telling him.

"Whatever happened to throwing Frisbees around?"

'They're encyclopedias, Timmy... They're an early form of Google.'

'My battery is dead. How does it end?'

'The 20th century wasn't bad, but I preferred the 19th. I'm open minded for the 21st.'

"Books are tricky. You can't text with a text book and you can't call with a phone book!"

'Oh darling, it is not an ibook, it is only a book.'

"The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates. Sounds like a man who never had a tax return audited.

'Lost your kindle in the cab? Try my outdated destined-for-extinction, low-priced print edition.'

As you like it - Parisians who will never be under police supervision

'It was great! I learned how to use dial phones, drive a standard transmission and cook without a microwave...'

'Well, that was when a pretty rock was worth a pretty rock...'

"Actually, I'm sitting here reading a book—just to see if I can still do it."

"I take it you've never had a bank account before?"

"It's your Grandpa's version of keeping up with technology...reading the papers online."

'Oh, poor thing. You've got a really high temperature!'

"I enjoy the pearls of folksy wisdom as much as the next guy, but what, exactly, does he do around here?"

Folk wisdom of the galaxies

"I hate everything with a chip in it that isn't chocolate."

'Dad! Open up to social networking. Stop being so Henry David Thoreau-ish!'

'All this talk of ABS's and old style MDP's is causing a lot of stress...The partners don't take kindly to change... He still hasn't recovered from us moving his desk nearer to the door!'

'I feel useless: My Master has cancelled his newspaper subscription and reads his news online now...'

"So dad, you do know all that stuff happened yesterday, right?"

"We have all the latest technologies, but catching them still takes old fashioned footwork."

'You can swipe it as many times as you like, but that's not how a book works.'

"If you plagiarize from the internet, you'll get caught. Copy from books. Nobody reads books anymore."

'Oh-oh - Here comes that dirty old philosopher again.'

"I'm cutting articles out of the newspaper while we still can."

"A kiss will make your boo-boo feel better...but my remedio of cayenne pepper and sugar will cure it!"