Old School Thinker Gifts

"I hate everything with a chip in it that isn't chocolate."

'All this talk of ABS's and old style MDP's is causing a lot of stress...The partners don't take kindly to change... He still hasn't recovered from us moving his desk nearer to the door!'

The Luddite Society

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

Gen-Next Library

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

'When I asked you to do research for your assignment, I meant the library not on Google!'

Cactus seats.

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

You are much more likely to think outside the box if it is broken.

"First they came for the horoscope and the crossword and I did nothing. Then they came for the cartoonists and there was no-one left to satirise it."

"Things are looking up!"

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

'Just do the presentation Williams and let the numbers speak for themself.'

"This is never going to work—you're a tree!"

"Whatever happened to throwing Frisbees around?"

"I didn't want this book to end, so I stopped reading it midway."

"Hold on - the ref is checking the rule book."

"He's a loose cannon with nothing left to lose, but he's the best damn file clerk I've ever seen."

'They're encyclopedias, Timmy... They're an early form of Google.'

'My battery is dead. How does it end?'

'It's like listening to the 1950s. You can hear the dentures whistling.'

"Books are tricky. You can't text with a text book and you can't call with a phone book!"

How can you read that comic strip Blondie? Its about a kinder, simpler time. It's about ancient history. They do the same material over and over. Exactly. I can count on it. Not like your stupid Pearls and Get fuzzy. Oooh, look how angry and edgy they are. They're sooo clever! Your whole gig is being angry and edgy. Look, I'm setting Candorville on fire.

Stoics vs. Epicureans.

The Electricians Giraffe Aid

"Have some respect for my learning style."

Failed mobile home designs

'Oh darling, it is not an ibook, it is only a book.'

Kid reading report: 'My book report is on 'TV Guide'...'

'John's into 'computer-hacking' in a big way!'

Staying Single Explained.

"You must be the artist."

"My last patient was a cainamotpelk...she walked backwards into shops and left things!"