Family Wisdom Enthusiast Gifts

"If you have a boyfriend, I have some advice, young lady! Wisdom that's been handed down from generation to generation!"

"My kids understand me. I've offered them the same disadvantages I grew up with."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

"I'm so good at this!"

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"It's bold! It's moving! It's inspired! But what is it?"

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

'If your boss is so dumb, daddy, why did he hire you?'

"I'm back. My family didn't want to spend more time with me."

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

Mummy?!

"I read the audio book."

'Oops! It says administer at bedtime. Guess that makes it bedtime.'

'He didn't learn that from me!'

'His dad was!'

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

"Put it on my tab."

"And you call yourself a marsupial?"

'I don't like that one. . . how about the one with the cute smile.'

"Dad since my pocket money isn't index linked, you've forced me to have to renegotiate."

'He's got your mother's teeth.'

'Of course the tooth fairy never came. Those were your Grandma's false teeth you put under your pillow.'

"When can I redeploy?"

"Junior's moved back home! It took him less than a week to work out that the grass is not always greener on the other side..."

"You'll find they stay pretty needy 'til about 300 months."

"I've decided to have a kid."

'Actually both my kids are twins...'

The best time capsules are our children.

'We couldn't afford school pictures this year so Timmy is doing the family portraits.'