Family Wisdom Enthusiast Pillows

"If you have a boyfriend, I have some advice, young lady! Wisdom that's been handed down from generation to generation!"

"My kids understand me. I've offered them the same disadvantages I grew up with."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

The Family Joules: Part 5

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

"I'm so good at this!"

"It's bold! It's moving! It's inspired! But what is it?"

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

'If your boss is so dumb, daddy, why did he hire you?'

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

"I'm back. My family didn't want to spend more time with me."

Mummy?!

'Oops! It says administer at bedtime. Guess that makes it bedtime.'

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

"Yeah, he's very like his father isn't he?"

'His dad was!'

"I read the audio book."

'He didn't learn that from me!'

Honey, I'm home. Did you change Kyle's diaper?

"And you call yourself a marsupial?"

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

"Put it on my tab."

"If something is neither here nor there, where is it?"

"If you don't stop doing that, your faces will stick that way!"

'We couldn't afford school pictures this year so Timmy is doing the family portraits.'

'You know, it's amazing what having a child costs you when you add it all up.'

"You'll find they stay pretty needy 'til about 300 months."

How Moms explain.

'I don't like that one. . . how about the one with the cute smile.'

'Of course the tooth fairy never came. Those were your Grandma's false teeth you put under your pillow.'

"I've decided to have a kid."