Kick-off Artist Gifts

World Cup Football Enthusiasm!

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

'Champions league'

'Nice Header, Lauren!'

Punishment for the kicker.

'In case the guys organize a game.'

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

'There's nothing in the rules about gloves.'

...Another second closer to kick-off....another second..

'Wanna help make sure we don't become an endangered species?'

'You're probably just trying to get our attention, son, and believe me, you've succeeded in a big,big way.'

'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy.' You in?"

Bernie Sanders

The Motives of Footballers

Hi-I'm Dave. Hi-I'm off limits.

'I don't understand - he's just as strong as ever.'

"Fancy joining the mile low club?"

"We call it that because Pastor Dave is always aware of kick-off time."

A punk rocks out to a John Denver song on karaoke night.

'Boss, come here quick!'

"The local karate club must be fund raising again."

David Beckham

"I'm a breast and leg man, myself!"

James Maddison

Boy finds a real foot in his Christmas stocking.

"Hi. Obviously, I'm betting everything on the watch."

Closing time, and a man and a woman are checking each other out across the bar: 'Slim pickings.' 'Fat chance.'

"Cruz, I really like your idea of starting an iPhone club...seriously, sign me up!"

"Well, goodbye, Emily. It's May 19th. You may remember my having mentioned some time ago that I was going to leave you on May 19th."

'Have you noticed, he's all left hook?'

JimmyFest 2006

Tae Kwon Bull.

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