Kick-off Connoisseur Gifts

"We call it that because Pastor Dave is always aware of kick-off time."

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"This place has the best happy hour."

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

I could have danced all night!

Party Animals.

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

"I love this time of day."

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

Superheroes Having a Drink

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Mea Maxima Cuppa

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

"You're never home."

The Corner Of Ogden And Nash: Candy is Daddy/Liquor is Quicker

Sparks Fly When The Little Gray Suit Meets The Little Black Dress

'Time to buy.'

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

"This looks like a job for 'Margarita Man!'"

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

(I ride a harley, I drive a porsche, I smoke cigars, I drink martinis...) (So, ….You're impotent?)

'Just a couple more and we'll call it a day.'