Kick-off Connoisseur Gifts

"We call it that because Pastor Dave is always aware of kick-off time."

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"This place has the best happy hour."

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

I could have danced all night!

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Party Animals.

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"I love this time of day."

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

"Drunk, yet orderly"

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Superheroes Having a Drink

Law School teacher.

Mea Maxima Cuppa

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

Cell Bar & Grill. Happy Hour All Day. The new owner is an endorphin.

"This looks like a job for 'Margarita Man!'"

'Time to buy.'

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

The Corner Of Ogden And Nash: Candy is Daddy/Liquor is Quicker

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

"You're never home."

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

Sparks Fly When The Little Gray Suit Meets The Little Black Dress

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"No party - it's for testing the atom smasher."

(I ride a harley, I drive a porsche, I smoke cigars, I drink martinis...) (So, ….You're impotent?)