Kick Maestro Gifts

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

Orchestra.

"Textin’"

Twitter censorship

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

'Champions league'

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

"... and come out fighting, boys."

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."

'How many words a minute do you type?' - 'Big ones or little ones?'

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

"Keep it up. His knuckles are getting really sore"

Musical Bicycle.

Well you know what they say - here today gone tomorrow - or in the case of dotcoms, here today gone shortly after lunch.

I stamped out smiley faces in your handwritten memos, and by George, I'll do the same with emoticons in your emails!

'I'm still working on my novel. In the meantime, and this is between you and me, I make ends meet by writing all those cat memes you see on Facebook.'

"Hey—no cheating!"

"It took years of vocal training, but I now have a vocal range from squeaky right down to tenor..."

Surgical intervention on Emoticons

Edinson Cavani

Arnold's clone refuses to workout: 'You're a huge disappointment, dude.'

Adam with a selfie stick

"To create the universe, hit the space bar."

'I'll just grab a coffee...'

"Did you research and verify before posting this?"

WILL PROGRAM FOR FOOD.

'Spend all morning on a cryptorchidectomy...'

'You say it's milk, oh, oh, I must have hooked up the wrong pipes.'

A bulge of bodybuilders

Piano desk.

"He once hoped to write the great American novel. Now it's the great American internet meme."