Kennel Staff Gifts

Kennel Club is closed for staff training

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

Multi-tasking.

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'These are job perks.'

Man on motorbike with side kennel.

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

Busy office.

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

The role of administration.

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

Brainstorm in progress.

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

'Look Jefferson, much as I respect your emphasis of the informal approach...'

Targets.

'Brains...brains...brains...'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

Sales.

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

"On reflection i think i could have coped with just 340' feedback."

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

'Stevens, get in here. I need a few minutes with the left side of your brain.'

"I'm glad you felt able to get that off your chest...now could we discuss next year's targets?"

Around here it got a little tricky...

'And Steven here takes care of the donkey work.'