Kennel Gifts

"Wish you were here."

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

Man on motorbike with side kennel.

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Kids ask repetitively: 'Is the recession over yet?'

'He followed me home. Can I keep him?'

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

Gulliver's other travels.

Vacation Time: Hither, Thither, Yon.

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

'I think it's past its sell-by date.'

It's a Dog's life

"The kids have stopped saying 'are we there yet?'"

'I think it's passed its sell-by date.'

"He must have picked that up at the kennel."

'I remember, Fido, winning isn't the only thing...there are also stud fees.'

Pets on holiday.

''Pet of the Year', That's me!'

'My husband's just getting some ready to show you.'

"One of you boys go help Mom with the groceries."

'This English Setter, Irish Wolfhound and Scotch Terrier, go into a bar...'

'Well, to begin with, you're going to have to get this fellow a bigger dog house.'

Millipede motorist

A father and son in a car packed with thier possessions

'The ranch-style house is for our wiener dog.'

"Rex always carried a doner card - he was never any good at spelling."

'Why didn't you go before we left?'

Vlad the Impaler - The Later Years.

I know you wanted a virgin but it's all I could find at this time on a Friday night.

'The ban of stimulants, includes St Bernards. The brandy keg will have to go.'

"Slug bug...not hit backs!"

Bored children on a long car trip

'We've got to go back, Maurice; Barry forgot his teddy person.'

'Why 'fido'? Dog kennels do not need planning permission.'

"Are we there, Yeti?"