Kennel Gifts

"Wish you were here."

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

Man on motorbike with side kennel.

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Kids ask repetitively: 'Is the recession over yet?'

'He followed me home. Can I keep him?'

Gulliver's other travels.

Vacation Time: Hither, Thither, Yon.

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

It's a Dog's life

'I remember, Fido, winning isn't the only thing...there are also stud fees.'

"He must have picked that up at the kennel."

"The kids have stopped saying 'are we there yet?'"

Pets on holiday.

''Pet of the Year', That's me!'

'My husband's just getting some ready to show you.'

"Rex always carried a doner card - he was never any good at spelling."

'Well, to begin with, you're going to have to get this fellow a bigger dog house.'

'This English Setter, Irish Wolfhound and Scotch Terrier, go into a bar...'

'The ranch-style house is for our wiener dog.'

Millipede motorist

A father and son in a car packed with thier possessions

"One of you boys go help Mom with the groceries."

Vlad the Impaler - The Later Years.

'Why didn't you go before we left?'

'We've got to go back, Maurice; Barry forgot his teddy person.'

'The ban of stimulants, includes St Bernards. The brandy keg will have to go.'

I know you wanted a virgin but it's all I could find at this time on a Friday night.

Bored children on a long car trip

'Why 'fido'? Dog kennels do not need planning permission.'

"Are we there, Yeti?"

'But what if the chancellor refuses to cut your tax rate? Will you really take the business overseas?'