Kennel King Gifts

'I think it's passed its sell-by date.'

'Well, to begin with, you're going to have to get this fellow a bigger dog house.'

'He likes your aftershave lotion.'

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

Counting ribs

Man on motorbike with side kennel.

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

An Advance Visit From The Three Wise Men

'He followed me home. Can I keep him?'

"So are you can't cook or won't cook?"

'I think it's past its sell-by date.'

"Oh, Irwin, I wish to god you'd get rid of that thing!"

"I tried to hire a hamburger fry cook from a fast food joint for our cafeteria but he wouldn't take the cut in pay."

"My compliments to Mummy!"

Paul Bocuse caricature

"Don't worry...the national immigrant work stoppage does not include our kitchen."

"He must have picked that up at the kennel."

"Oh, aye - he's never slow at stepping up to the plate."

Joe's Bar - Two Kegs Any Style $49.95

'I remember, Fido, winning isn't the only thing...there are also stud fees.'

Pets on holiday.

'I don't know what happened. One minute she's spooning me. The next minute I'm knifing her.'

''Pet of the Year', That's me!'

'My husband's just getting some ready to show you.'

'The ranch-style house is for our wiener dog.'

"Do you have any idea who it is you're talking to?"

'This English Setter, Irish Wolfhound and Scotch Terrier, go into a bar...'

"And there it is... Coronation chicken"

Vlad the Impaler - The Later Years.

'Hunger is a terrible thing, especially around dinner time!'

"He's looking for the next big leftovers holiday."

'The ban of stimulants, includes St Bernards. The brandy keg will have to go.'